Not So Bad At Arms Length, While Squinting

OK I’m going to make some predictions of the upcoming Cloverfield monster movie. After I see it, I’ll run through the list and check off where I was right.

This is based on evidence from the Alternate Reality Game and viral marketing that Paramount has been putting out, from posts on the various forums, and the trailers and TV spots.

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The Chuai station was established to exploit a deep-sea region inhabited by extremophiles (i.e. hardy little buggers) that lived in the deep trenches. They found “deep sea nectar”, which is otherwise known as MONSTER POOP. The monster who produces this poop, and also creates a whole ecosystem around it, turned out to be bigger and more bad-tempered than the Tag engineers anticipated.

After a year of putting up with drilling and bombardment the ocean floor with sonar, this very large extremophile rose from the depths to tell them to knock it off. This it did with a distinct lack of subtlety. Then it followed the sound or sonar of a passing tanker, which it followed to the Big Apple.

It found the Big Apple, and its residents, to be very tasty. It probably thinks of them as “above sea nectar”.

Satellite parts? Coincidental.

And Slusho? SLUSHO IS… MONSTER POOP!

Other predictions:

+ because of survival in a deep-sea trench, the monster probably burrows and has access to either volcanic vents or some sort of geothermal heat. This gives it an intimate relationship with natural gasses and heat, which above water produce FIRE and lots of it.

+ the monster is norished by fire

+ the monster is able to create fire in various ways, including having the little lifeforms that live on it produce sources of fire

+ because of its ability to survive in incredibly harsh conditions, it is really, really hard to kill

+ because it has to move a huge mass through water, above water it can move surprizingly fast and with unbelievable power

+ the big thing is amphipious (for some reason) and is closer to a frog or a turtle than a reptile

+ the thing has two arms and two legs; its armspan is very wide, the same as its overall length. It is incredibly hunched over, and walks primarily like an animal on all 4s, but can rear up and use its arms to grab things (like helicopters)

+ The thing has a huge, triangular face with swivel eyes and a huge gaping mouth with big fangs that would be effective in eating whales

+ It does rub on buildings and knock off smaller creatures (i.e. I think that rumor is credible)

+ Marlena explodes, but literally, like in a big fireball

+ The monster does something to Manhattan, like cover it in monster poop, that leaves it uninhabitable at the end of the movie.

+ Well …even more uninhabitable than it is now.

(edit… more)

+ At one point, the monster seems to die and we get a close-up of its face as it lies in the street. But then it comes back to life (i.e. I think that rumor is credible)

+ Ooooh… I just read a good post, so I am going to go with it. The monster evolves during the movie from a very blobby sea creature to a more well-defined, dangerous land creature 

(edit)

+ The thing eats whales. That’s why it has fangs and arms, and is amphibious. So it can surface and grab them.